Story Of My Day.

 

Instead of scratching my butt and filling out meaningless applications for a job, I thought I’d chill by myself for the day. Oh, and Nigel, I hung out with Nigel too.

totally check out my workout routine and hear about my surprise engagement in the YOUTUBE video I made yesterday! PLEASE LEAVE A CUTE LITTLE HEART IN THE COMMENT SECTION LETTING ME KNOW YOU’RE FROM WP!! I WOULD REALL APPREACIATE IT!

 

Your Thoughts Can Be Your Worst Enemy

What if the thing I’ve been overthinking is what I actually think it is.

But what if it isn’t?

And why the hell am I thinking about it so much?

I dont want to down play what I’m feeling but at the same time I dont want to cause an argument .

I’m trying to stay vigiliant.

Just keeping my eyes open to things I may not be able to see because of wonderful circumstances.

But what if in the process I do real damage.

So many things have made me this way and its the most unattractive way a person can be.

But I just can’t help myself. Is it true? Is it not true?

I can’t let what has happened before happen again. I mean that was the whole reason I went through it all. Learn from it and prevent it from happening again.

 

Baby Came Home (Part One)

Cigarette smoke clouded the black and white room as Ben sat in his desk chair. He planted it toward the middle of the living room facing the front door.  Liza had been in Miami with her girlfriends just for the weekend. So Ben thought. It was already Wednesday and there hadn’t even been a kissie face emoji sent to Ben’s phone from his girlfriend of two years. By the looks of instagram he had a slight feeling that Liza was well. But What about the two of them?  Ben was about to find out that the love of his life would soon be the next one to break his heart.

As a key slammed into the lock, Ben sat there sliding off the leather chair, opening and closing the black velvet ring box he was going to surprise Liza with.

Liza busted open the front door and rushed to the back room.

Ben was still staring at the half-opened door, wondering if he had been invisible. He tried to come up with some reason why she could be mad at him but he couldn’t come up with anything. Maybe the fact that he was wearing a dirty white beater and the apartment looked like a tornado ran through it. But how would she know? They hadn’t face timed in almost a week.  Running out of reasons, Ben rose up and peaked outside the door to see no suitcases or luggage  that should have been there,  given the fact that she just came back from a vacation. Odd. He thought. Gradually making his way into the back room he could hear Liza shuffling around and rummaging through drawers.

“Baby what’s going on?” He said softly, unsure he really wanted to know the answer.

She said nothing.

Ben walked closer to her and gently placed his hand on her back. He could smell the apple frutcis shampoo in her hair that she always used. He missed that smell so much. He missed her so much.

“Liza can we talk?” Ben tried again but she cut him off.

“Benjamin”, she sighed. “Leave me alone”.

He stood there frozen. Was she really leaving him? After two years of more ups than downs? After all the things they had seen and experienced together? But why? His eyes were glossy and drooped down almost as low as the corners of his lips. And then he snapped out of it.

“Liza! why are you putting your things into these bags? Where are you going? Where are the bags you took with you to Miami? You just gonna pick up and leave and not talk to me? like I’m no one? Did you find someone else? Did someone tell you something about me? I’m pretty sure it’s not true. Liza please just talk to me before you walk out of this apartment , our apartment. Tell me what I did. Tell me what I can do to make it right”. The words were spilling out of his mouth so fast, he hadn’t realized how many questions he just asked.

“Nothing. I’m leaving this town”. She said dryly as she paused with her back still facing him, looking at the room as if it were some disgusting habitat that she wanted no part of. “I need some time to explore”. Making absolutely no eye contact with Ben, she got up grabbed her bags and left the apartment. Ben followed close behind her and said nothing. So many things he wanted to say flew into his mind and crashed the part of his brain that made him speak.

Liza disappeared into the flickering hallway that led to the elevator. Never looking back.

Ben stood leaning out of the doorway holding the ring box with two fingers, aimlessly watching Liza fade away.

 

 

 

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Maybe

 

We’re living in a fantasy world

yes its true.

people can not be that cruel

for every evil, there’s a love

therefore we do not need what is up above

we can save ourselves by ourselves.

Tv, will give us real life situations and we’ll think they’re answers to our real life problems

instagram will tell us to be hotter or skinnier

so we eat air and crowd our face with with colorful acne boosters

that’s how we save ourselves.

But see that only works but so much.

deep down will be this depression, oppression and suppression

deep down we will feel hindered from true happiness. peace and joy.

And thats when we should realize that the world really IS that cruel

and our people are not really that true.

yea, in this flat world, there is a lot of love,

but we actually do need Him to save us, Him up above.

maybe you live in a fantasy world, but I don’t.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Words Left Unsaid

While you’re sitting on your bed, gazing for miles at nothing, thinking about how you feel about your one true love, he is actually  blowing your phone up like hell.

He doesn’t know what is was that set you off during your disagreement last night.

But answer me this.

What is there to gain by not telling him how you felt when he stormed out of the over crowded grocery store last night?

If anything he’ll do it again and think you’re ok with it. Or worse, he’ll think you don’t care.

Then, as the cherries begin to blossom, you’ll wonder why the daily bouquet of flowers stopped arriving at your desk at the firm.

You’ll start to notice how many friday nights he spends with his sexist group of guys and how he hasn’t asked you on a date in over 30 days.

Your days will become crowded with unpleasing and unnecessary  tasks that you begin around your cold and lonely studio. You have to do something to fill all the time that you now have. So why not scrub the kitchen floor with your ghost boyfriends tooth brush with sad country music playing in the background?

When you leave things left unsaid the worst is yet to come.

And the best is yet to leave.

 

 

If you have questions in regards of your relationship and would like them answered, please email me askchy@yahoo.com

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check out my youtube video I did for this article and be sure to let me know your from WP!!

Why Worry

Why do I worry about what people think so much?

Why did I hesitate to wear a wig to a wedding? (Because I had seen the guests before hand and I didn’t want to weird them out)

But why do I care if I weird people out? who’s to say that’ll even happen?

If I want to do something why don’t I Just do it?

What is it about other people whom I don’t even know that makes me care about their opinions?

why seek approval from complete strangers?

I guess I’m just afraid of looking like a joke.

But I’m pretty sure no one is going to look at me as a joke. Except for me. Which is twisted.

Why am I my worst enemy?

How do I not love my own skin that I am in?

What happened to the confident elementry school girl who rose her hand for every answer in class even when they were wrong?

That girl got made fun of for having a flat chest once she hit 7th grade.

That girl was told by a fellow classmate that the acne on her face looked like several different worlds and planets on her face.

That girl started staying in the shadows trying hard not to be seen like an abused kid making little to no movement the abuser was around.

So why worry?

So the abuse won’t srart again.

 

High Quality Clothes

A lot of us lovelies don’t realize it but we are constantly buying the same expensive garments .  Reason being that they were poor fabric choices, or you just didn’t take the proper care of them.

We got to stop overpaying for complete bull!!!!! Omg I can not stress this enough. never buy anything that is 100% cotton. It will surely shrink and you’ll have to buy it all over again and that is just ridiculous18096204_301026843663103_1790358792374845440_n

Its not that bad to buy imitating fabrics because lets face it, who really has that much money to buy something 100% silk? Maybe a select few but on the real most people will just buy polyester. Therefore Do not overpay for polyester when the garment is poor quality. You might as just pay the extra dime and get the silk one and have a longer lasting garment.

lastly, beware of loose seams and stitching. These are huge red flags and your garment is bound to unravel at some point. Also whoever sowed the item rushed and you shouldn’t pay good money for horribly made clothes. Another sign the clothes were poorly made is when the seams are super long, this mean the sower ran fabric hella fast through the machine. you want to look for french seams and tight stitching. You”ll want to slightly pull the garment apart to see how tight the stiching is.

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I hope this helped you! let me know in the comments! Also check out the video I made for YouTube

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