Why Worry

Why do I worry about what people think so much?

Why did I hesitate to wear a wig to a wedding? (Because I had seen the guests before hand and I didn’t want to weird them out)

But why do I care if I weird people out? who’s to say that’ll even happen?

If I want to do something why don’t I Just do it?

What is it about other people whom I don’t even know that makes me care about their opinions?

why seek approval from complete strangers?

I guess I’m just afraid of looking like a joke.

But I’m pretty sure no one is going to look at me as a joke. Except for me. Which is twisted.

Why am I my worst enemy?

How do I not love my own skin that I am in?

What happened to the confident elementry school girl who rose her hand for every answer in class even when they were wrong?

That girl got made fun of for having a flat chest once she hit 7th grade.

That girl was told by a fellow classmate that the acne on her face looked like several different worlds and planets on her face.

That girl started staying in the shadows trying hard not to be seen like an abused kid making little to no movement the abuser was around.

So why worry?

So the abuse won’t srart again.

 

I Dont Write Anymore

It all started in my 7th grade English class. My Teachr Mrs. Darge gave us a passage to read and it was so trippy!! The 5 paragraph passage made my skin crawl and gave me chills. I was so in love with it I thought to myself, “hey, I want to write something like that and make people feel the way I’m feeling!” So I did that night I went home and tried to write something similar to it and I did. 

I used to write about two or three scripts a year. Yes movies. I would have beautiful ideas for movies and I would hand write them in my school spiral notebooks. I did a few months online at The Academy Of Art University for my BFA and yea I failed . Not only that, I have to pay back a lot on my student loans for something I didn’t even complete. But life is life . 
So as you all know by the title, I don’t write anymore. And that freaking sucks! It’s not because I choose not too, but because I don’t have anymore awesome ideas. I certainly don’t really have any inspiration. But I do have all the time on my hands. I don’t know how I would write so much in Highschool. Highschool was so hard for me but I would some how be writing scripts in the midst of all the chaos.  

I have a strong love for music. Sometimes I would hear a song and become so obsessed with it that I would begin forming a plot line to movie based off that song. That would happen quite a lot and I would say that’s a unique way to write a script wouldn’t you? But I just can’t. Earlier this year I started a script and I remember everything it was going to be about and the plot and all that I just have no motivation to write whatsoever. And it sucks cause I really miss writing . It’s been like 10 months and I still have writers block.

Here are some pictures of me when I was in 8th grade!!

Unique peace sign right? Don’t ask. I wasn’t in a gang I promise. I just thought it was cool and different.

Before baby hair slaying was a thing.Miley Cyrus had made it a trend back then for the peace sign and I sadly followed.omg. I can’t even.So I took this picture and tried to make it look like someone else did. Classic Cheyenne just classic. And I made that pillow.Again with that peace sign.Ooh girl! Eyebrows on fleek! (She said sarcastically ) That dang peace sign.  Updated picture of me below!

I took this selfie last week. I had my hair up in a little bun and when I took it out it looked like this.

My lovelies, I’m going to need advice from you this time around. What can I do to get out of this writers rut?! Any answers? Please help a sista out! 

If you would like to know some titles to my scripts let me know I’d be happy to share them! 

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The Truth About Being Fat

Whether it’s hereditary, whether you’re lazy, or whether you just had a baby, don’t lie to yourself, you know your fat.

Now, this might sound cliche but literally, everyone is beautiful. There are numbers of fat women who say they love being fat and that’s ok. I just don’t like when they also say that the word, “fat” is offensive.  I mean I guess we could use the word, “big” but that word can be confused as, “tall”. In my opinion I think it’s easier just to say fat. The number one thing I hear a lot of fat people say is this, “I’m fat and I’m healthy.” What does being healthy consit of?

  1. Consistent  healthy food intake
  2. Exercise at least three times per week

If you are fat and you follow these two steps there is no way you are fat. You might be a little slim thick wit yo cute self but you wouldn’t be fat. 

Hey lovelies, let’s get something straight here, I’m not coming down on the fat people I’m just bringing about facts.  Being fat or skinny is a life choice and it’s definitely something that is in your control. If you’re fat and you don’t think what I’m saying is true then let me know in the comments below.

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